Nurturing Yourself To Be Happy

Author : Zac Badham
Publish Date : 2021-03-22

Nurturing Yourself To Be Happy

When we don't focus on nurturing our selves - mind, body, spirit and emotions, we tend to get out of balance and neglect important aspects of who we are. Those parts that we don't care for inevitably develop dis-ease and we become unhappy.

It's important for us to appreciate that our body is intricately linked with the other aspects of who we are - our mind, emotions and spirit. It is well known that what goes on in our mind has an effect on the hormones and chemicals that get released by our body. If our thoughts are negative, over time they can lead to a build up of chemicals that harms us physically. Equally what we do with our body (too little sleep and exercise for example) or put into our body (sugar, alcohol, drugs etc) has an effect on our minds.

Our greatest happiness comes when all aspects of our self are working in harmony, like a highly tuned engine. Simple things like getting enough sleep, exercise and nourishing food can make all the difference, and affect our mind, emotions and spirit in positive ways that promote happiness.

Learning to balance the care of ourselves plays a vital role in our happiness. And it's so important that we learn to care for ourselves before we care for others or we risk burn out.

Nurturing and Balancing Your Life
One good way to begin this is to think about nurturing and balancing all the territories of your life - family, health, relationships, work, career, spirituality, finance etc. Take a large sheet of paper and draw a 3 x 3 box grid on it and write one of your life territories in each box. These are areas of your life where you spend your time and put your energy - or want to!

Then, taking each territory in turn, decide how balanced it feels, or how happy you feel in each territory. Does one territory get less attention or more attention that the others? Do you feel happy and balanced in family relationships, for example, or is this an area that makes you feel unhappy?

Give each territory a score out of 10 for how happy you feel there. Write the score in the box.

Do this with honesty and with compassion for yourself. Don't blame or judge yourself or others for how your life territories are right now. Just appreciate that you are taking the time to review them.

Now, starting with your lowest scores, or the most important and urgent ones, identify what is needed to bring them back into balance. Begin to list the actions you will take in each box and display your grid of life territories in a prominent place to remind you of what's needed.

When we are without purpose we feel lost, like we're in a maze, easily distracted with no sense of meaning in our lives - we feel unhappy. Discover how to find your unique purpose, dream or vocation that will give meaning to your life and help you stay positive, motivated and happy.

We are naturally 'meaning makers', all the time trying to make sense of what is happening in our world and asking 'why?' and 'how?' questions.

Two of the biggest questions we tend to ask are 'who am I?' and 'why am I here?' Now we can choose to believe that we are a random accident of the Universe with no purpose or direction, living like a leaf on a stream just floating where the currents and eddies take us.

But for many of us that is not enough. It does not make us happy.

When we take the time and begin to learn from our past experience we develop an increased knowing of our own identity and purpose that gives us a sense of direction and helps us stay focused amidst life's distractions.

By learning to remember 'who I am and what I am here for' we find that our happiness increases and we can better stay on track to achieve our goals.

To get a better sense of your identity and purpose you need to look back over your life's journey. Take some quiet time out. Visit a favourite place in the countryside perhaps. Give yourself the gift of some reflective time to remember what it was in your life that has given you joy, fulfillment and satisfaction. And also what have been the more negative or disappointing experiences.

You will find that these experiences give you some clues to who you are and what you are here for. In particular look for times:


  • When you were happy
  • When you were fearful or angry
  • When you were in an expanded reality and at one with Life
  • Of spiritual awakening
  • Of blood family births and deaths
  • Of the beginning and ending of relationships
  • When you felt 'on highest purpose'
  • When you were flowing with Life
  • Of healthy balance or unhealthy dis-ease


It can be very useful to gather all your responses in a notebook or journal. Then take a large sheet of paper and create an image for your life journey - a river for example. The river starts when you were born and comes right up to the present. Now begin to add the experiences you have discovered to the image of your life journey.

What does it tell you? What are you learning about yourself from this new perspective? Use your responses to answer the questions - who am I and what am I here for? How do your answers inform your future direction?

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