Addiction To Unrequited Love

Author : Sadseww
Publish Date : 2020-11-22


Addiction To Unrequited Love

It may seem silly to be addicted to non-reciprocal love, but it can sometimes be the result of growing up in a home where love was conditional or inconsistent. As a child, a "torchbearer" might have always been trying to win love, praise, or affection from a parent (or other influential person) who was unavailable, abusive, or did not provide proper nutrition. ... I saw a parent in some kind of an unrequited love affair with the other and it could have taken that energy. If it weren't for the childhood environment, another type of trauma might have occurred that disturbed the torchbearer's self-esteem and ability to feel secure in receiving love. It can also be the result of a sudden and unexpected breakup, betrayal, health issue or appearance.

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On an existential level, the torchbearer may have developed a belief that he is unlovable and may be drawn to love situations that seem to keep him trapped in this dynamic: loving someone, but not being able to fully receive love. Although a person feels unloved on one level, they often know that they are worthy on another level, so the torchbearer may be confused about why he continues to be addicted to someone who is unavailable. Then, the relationship becomes a fantasy, idealism, avoidance, or love-hate relationship in which the addict loves and rejects the object of his devotion.

According to love addiction expert Susan Peabody, the most important categories of love addiction include:

Obsessed love addicts: are obsessed and cannot let go even if their partners are unavailable or abusive
Dependent love addiction: the need to satisfy a partner for a sense of self
Narcissistic love addicts: take advantage of their partner and may act selfish, selfish, or abusive and still feel addictive to the partner and cannot let go
Contradictory love addicts: This category includes unrequited love addicts (also known as "torchbearers"), spoilers, seducers, and romance addicts. The main goal of this type of love addiction is to avoid true emotional intimacy and emotional bonds. These addicts yearn for love and tenderness, but are afraid to get close at the same time.
Unrequited love addicts are part of the paradoxical love group. Susan Peabody was the first to coin the term "paradoxical love addiction". His book Love Addiction: Overcoming Obsession and Dependence in Relationships is a great book for anyone wanting to learn more about love addiction.

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